How hard these last few months have been! I'm so grateful to have spent so much time with my dad especially since he was diagnosed with lung cancer back in January, but it was so difficult to watch him become sicker and sicker with each passing day. You never knew what to expect with each visit from day to day. I'm shocked at how fast his disease progressed.
This morning while making peanut butter toast for Caleb's breakfast, all of a sudden the kitchen light went out and the dishwasher stopped working. My first thought was to call Dad since he was an electrician...unfortunately, that's wasn't possible. There are so many times in a day that I'll pick up the phone to check and see how my dad is feeling or to tell him about something cute that Caleb had done, but that's also impossible. Caleb is constantly asking for Papa and wanting to go visit him...once again, impossible.
The other day at church, we sang the song How Can I Keep from Singing. At times I feel angry with God for taking my dad away from me at such a young age, but during that song it dawned on me that I just can't keep from singing His praise. It's because of God's love for us that I will be able to see my dad again. I continually thank God for his mercy and kindness in not letting my dad suffer for very long. It's truly a blessing that his disease progressed so quickly to prevent unnecessary pain and suffering. God is so good!
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I remember how it is to lose a father. The smallest things will remind you of him -- and so unexpectedly. Aren't you glad for the Holy Spirit's comfort just when you need it?
Would you consider phoning me sometimes when Caleb does something cute? It would be *such* a wonderful break for my day, and most of the time, I'm not too busy to take a phone call. Besides, I miss so many of his cutest moments!
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